Jackanory III

MORE TEA VICAR?

We thought we would get away for a few days.

We went to The Wild Duck caravan park at Belton, Norfolk where we stayed in a friends 'van.

We went without our friends from Cambridge.

We thought we would have a good time.

We thought wrong.

I ended up with a severe case of gout in my toe/foot and ankle. We therefore spent the last day/night of our stay in the caravan, reading books and watching TV as I was unable to walk.

That final evening I was in so much pain that I was unable to sleep.

The next day we packed our belongings in to our car and I managed, some how to drive home.

On arrival at home, I was helped from the car to the front room, I took some pain killers and Lindsay brought me a cup of tea.

Now, lack of sleep, pain killers, and a cup of tea are not always a good combination.

After telling Lindsay that I could stay awake long enough to drink my tea, she went in to the kitchen to start sorting out the dirty washing and loading the washing machine.

In the meantime I was failing spectacularly to stay awake. I managed a couple of times to stop myself going to sleep, but on the third occasion I fell asleep.

No sooner had I arrived in the land of nod than I was being torn from it in almost horror sci-fi fashion as if being plucked from one dimension and thrust in to another.

I was aware of a searing pain in my groin and across my stomach. I leapt up screaming, forgetting about the gout! About 0.33 seconds later I remembered the gout! I screamed again.

Lindsay, being the wonder woman that she is, appeared as if by magic, armed with a towel, cold cloth, cold pack etc, and began to administer first aid to my stomach and nether regions.

I say administer, it was more hold the cold cloth and cold pack in the general direction they were required. A more accurate placement was impossible due to the frequency at which Lindsay was shaking due to the unbridled mirth at my predicament.

The poor little fella's recovered eventually but they were never quite the same after that! As the following picture shows!